Little faith riding hood
by Ehlayah
Summary: This is ment to be purely comical.And to show how obsessed i am with the faithselene pairing. Eh just read it and laugh XP. M for mature content.


-1Well I've been asked to do a sequel to 'How faith stole Christmas' But to their dismay. I cant recreate or make something as funny as that without completely tearing apart the original story line. So I decided to make this.

Little faith riding hood.

Yeah I know its stupid but hey time to destroy yet another nice sweet Childs story XP

Note: I don't own any of the characters

Its suppose to be funny(And a bit angsty) and not make ANY sense what so ever.

Yes the characters spite me and want me to die for making them do some of the stuff I make them do XD(P.s. I am layah)

I HATE buffy and love selene so yeah get it got it good!

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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful slayer .The most beautiful slayer you've ever seen. She had long brown hair and black orbs as eyes .She wore a plain white 'T' and ripped up jeans with a red hooded cape draping over her.

Faith- I WILL Kill you for this layah

With a smiling expression plastered on her face she skipped happily-

Faith- skipped…SKIPPED? WTF!ATLEAST LET ME KEEP SOME OF MY DIGNATY!

Ok walked is that better?

Faith-much -.-

Into the hotel. Where she met Angel. Who was very fond of her but knew she was Buffy's and Buffy's only.

Faith- HATE hate hate hate HHHHHAAAATTEEEEEE.

"Hello faith ,I got a favor to ask" angel said to the smiling face before him nodding for him to go on. He got up a walked over to the table and picked up a picnic basket. Then gave it to faith. "Buffy hasn't been up here lately and she had ordered these cupcakes ,I know you two are arguing but could you deliver them to her ,for you see I cannot go into the sunlight."

But faith continued to smile and held the basket with glee." Angel, even if we are fighting I will deliver this basket of goodies to her for you .You are my friend and I would not put you in harms way. "

Faith-…… I will kill you……..

Angel arose and hugged faith gratefully ."Thank you faith, But I must warn you." His voice became serious and scared. "There is a beast within the woods you must pass. It is cunning ,and preys upon helpless girls. You must be careful while passing through the woods."

Faith nodded and ski-urr.. Walked off.

She reached the woods heeding angels words about the beast that lived inside of the forest and approached cautiously, And by cautiously I mean singing down a pathway .

Little did faith know. A raven haired women in a leather suite followed her every move , for a while now the women had been stalking out the girl for a while. She knew she had a girlfriend but she longed to make faith hers .She knew faith didn't love that controlling ,over zealous, evil ,whiney ,bratty Barbie of a bitch and could win her over easily if she tried. After all she was the great beast of the forest. Anything that entered was at her mercy.

Selene- damn right I could XD

Faith walked along the path smiling swinging her basket back and forth humming a tune to herself, when she heard something crack behind her. She stopped and spun around just to be greeted by two icy blue eyes which seemed to gaze into her soul .They looked at each other for a few minutes then with out warning "HI LADY!"

Faith- THAT'S IT LAYAH YOUR DEAD I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU WITH A RUSTY WOODEN SPOON!

Layah- Urr. .faith wooden spoons don't rust..

Faith- They do in my dreams!

Layah - :shakes head and continues to write:

Selene, startled by the girls reaction, contemplated weather or not this girl was a complete bimbo or was scared out of her mind. "Hello?" She cleared her throat her voice becoming a bit lower and seductive. "I mean hello young girl, What brings you out to the woods this evening."As she circled faith checking her out coming to a halt behind her.

Faith began to get a vibe from the women, Although extremely beautiful. Something just wasn't right about those eyes."Umm. I-I'm going to visit buffy my g-girlfriend…." She stammered and selene's hands had snaked there way from under her arm and around her waist.

"Humm…you have a girlfriend now do you?" Selene asked her thumb tracing circles around faith's stomach.

Faith closed her eyes concentrating on selene's hand which was now touching the flesh on her stomach sending shivers through her. "No- I mean yes yes I do!" She said pulling away.

Faith - 

Selene pouted for a few moments and then smiled inside ,for she had a plan to win over the girls heart, she'd go to Buffy's place before faith arrived and fight for her when she arrived.

"I'm sorry Mrs.-"

"Selene" Selene said with a smirk on her face.

"Selene…"She paused thinking about the name. then shook out of it. "But I must be going. B-Buffy will be expecting me. Goodbye!.'

She walked towards the pathway to Buffy's house when selene yet again had another idea. "Wait! "She said to faith causing her to turn around to face her again ."That way is blocked. The bridge is down" She lied. "You'll have to use the winding path."

Faith looked at selene gratefully and smiled "Oh thanks! Urm selene! I owe you one!' She said departing down the trail. Her basket in her hands.

When selene was sure faith was far enough away she smirked. Her skin turned dark blue and eyes pitch black claws emerged and fangs now hung from the top of her mouth.And sprinted towards Buffy's house.

Meanwhile at buffy's. Buffy and none other then spike were alone in the house cuddling in buffy's bed.

Spike had his arms coiled around the small slayer "Buffy, When ARE you finally going to tell faith about this."

Buffy grunted. Spike always brought this up and she was getting sick of it." Soon ok soon? Besides even after I cast that happy spell on her that willow gave me she's been more of a pain then when she was a bitch."

"Look who's talking" Spike said under his breath.

Buffy turned her head to look evilly at spike when she heard something ram through the door. It was selene with a video camera.still fully transformed "Surprise!"

Spiked jumped out of the bed and roared. Selene just kicked himin the shin causing him to fall and wail his head on the bed post knocking him out. "Heel , good boy"

Buffy got up sheet bound tightly around herself ready to fight the strange women who had just entered her home ."Who do you think you ar-"

"Uh-uh-uh.' She said shaking her finger her video camera still recording ."I still have you on tape .So why don't you tell faith why you've been cheating on her? Cause I know this will"

Buffy was silent her face became white ."You, you wouldn't…."

"Yes, yes I would" She said mimicking her stutter. "Now I advise you take soul boy here and clear out of here before faith arrives. Which should be in about 5 minutes.

"No ,It should be now. "Said a voice behind her. It was faiths. She looked completely horror struck. There buffy was with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her, Spike on the floor in nothing but his trousers. and the women she had saw before only with black eyes and dark blue furry skin ."Buffy, Have you. .are you?"

Buffy couldn't speak all she could do was stutter. She didn't actually plan on telling faith about her affairs she'd been having with spike.

Just then the 'happy spell broke and ragey faith came out lunging towards buffy" YOU BITCH HOW COULD YOU I CARED ABOUT YOU GAVE YOU MY HEART AND SOUL AND YOU CHEATED ON ME!"

"FAITH!FAITH I'M SORRY I'M REALLY SORRY!' Buffy said pleading, pinned to the ground by an angry faith.

"NO!' faith screamed. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT GET OUT TAKE THIS SCUM WITH YOU I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Buffy who was fearing her life at the moment quickly gathered the unconscious spike and fled the cottage.

Faith looked out the window watching buffy stumble away breathing furiously.

Selene backed away a bit into the darker corner of the room where she thought she couldn't be seen.But the next thing faith did selene didn't expect. Faith started laughing. Was she insane? Or in shock. Then she turned to selene still laughing which made selene give off a small squeak of being discovered.

Selene- -.- Now I will kill you. At first I was gonna wait until faith slowly made you suffer for making her look like the bimbo we all know she is-

Faith-I AM NOT!

Selene- then stop her but NOW I will join in on the massacre.

Layah- erm.. Guys I hate to say this but I have the keyboard I can delete anything you do and make myself invincible if I wanted. Needless to say I win in any situation : )

Faith- Sadly she had a point.

Selene- Damnit.. We'll find a way of getting even.. So help me god…

"Chill out selene."She said remembering her name"I knew Buffy was cheating on me. I just needed to catch her so I could throw her out. "She sad slowly walking over to her.

Selene stood up and stopped cowering in the corner. "You knew? all this time so all my plotting was a waste!"

Faith reached selene and grazed selene's lips with hers."Not really…a waste that is."With that she picked selene up by the collar of her jumpsuit and threw her on the bed.

Selene smirked. "I thought I was suppose to be the big bad wolf!"

'Not in this fairytale" faith whispered.

"My why big arms you have"

Faith smirked."The better to hold you with my dear."And begain to creep up to her on the bed.

"My what big ears you have"

"The better to hear you with my dear"

Selenes voice became softer. "My What big eyes you have."

"The better to see ALL of you my dear" she was almost face to face with selene grinning broadly

Selene's voice became nothing but a whisper ."My.. what big teeth you have."

Faith whispered inst selenes ear."All the better to eat you with…"

Selene shrugged her shoulders. "I can live with that"

With that the lamp light the only light that seemed to light up the house went out.

Faith- :holding a syringe in her hand: Ha! WE finally found something she hates!

Selene- :Holding safety pins: Now she will pay for our humiliation!

Layah- :Hiding in a tree: AHHH I HATE NEEDLES!

End


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